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This is photo is one that as much as I love, is painful for me to look at. I remember this day like it was yesterday, it was perfect. Yet, the pain it brings me is one that I rarely speak of publicly. . October 21, 2008 will mark 9 years since my son was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. To say all our lives changed that day would be an understatement. Type 1 diabetes is a chronic autoimmune disease. . However, today I don’t want to talk about my son or his disease and how it affects him. I want to discuss another side of it, that is often ignored, or not understood. . This photo doesn’t just haunt me because it reflects the last few weeks my son had of freedom from a chronic autoimmune disease - it also reflects the last few weeks I had of myself. . Yes, I was thin, I had worked hard to get down to 150 from 210, and take care of my body with healthier eating and exercise. However, I’ve made my peace a long time ago, that I will not be able to get that back, nor does it define my worth, happiness or even beauty. Some days it still gets to me, I won’t lie. . What I do miss everyday though; what I do long for are the days before I had anxiety, and hypochondria. All of which are a result of what many call PTSD. . You start to question EVERYTHING. What signs did you miss, what did you to cause it, how could you have done better, what if your other child gets sick, what if you get sick. . Watching my son in ICU, fighting for his life, watching him go from a healthy 5 year old to a sick 6 year old 3 days after his birthday changed me forever. . I’m scared to do things I love. I have 15 tattoos and will not get another one now, I have been dancing since age 5, yet once my heart rate accelerates I have to sit down or I’m in full panic attack mode. Terrified to try new things, to be in crowded places, to just LIVE. . I am terrified to miss anything. A cough, a pain, a bruise, anything pushes me over the edge. I worry if something else is creeping up to hurt my sons, or myself. . October is the hardest month for me, as I remember the carefree, healthy child I once had, and the carefree mentally and physically healthy mother I used to be.
A comment card written at the end of our last event! 💜 join us Saturday, October 28th for this month's gathering. Link in bio! 🕊💜 #reclaimyourvoice
Day 18 of #domesticviolenceawarenessmonth. Today's topic is....SPEAKING OUT!! . . I kept secrets for 8 years. Even after the kids and I were kicked out, I still kept my mouth shut. We had no home. I never spoke ill of my husband. I stand by that decision to this day. However, when it was time to share... I had peace. If it's time for you to reach out to someone.....do it!! There is freedom, deliverance and healing in sharing what happened to you. Even if it's anonymous, that's the first step. There are people around you that love you. Don't let voices tell you otherwise. Your co-workers, your friends, your family....etc. YOU ARE LOVED!!!!! . . This month hasn't been easy for me. I thought I was ready to be an advocate. It has triggered so many emotions and Brokenness. I've had to spend a lot more time with God this month. My inbox is flooded with testimonies. I won't be silent because way too many people are going through this. They think it's normal, insignificant and they think they're alone. . . You Are Not Alone! Being abused( finacially, emotionally, sexually, physically) is not insignificant! Nothing about someone hurting you is normal. . . #domesticviolencesurvivor #domesticviolenceadvocate #domesticviolence #enddomesticviolence #financialabuse #sexualabuse #emotionalabuse #financialabuse #ptsd #depression #SPEAKOUT
Feeling so thankful that I get to do what I love and work with some of the world's leading researchers in ptsd, trauma, issues related to service members and Veterans, and neurobiology. #Combat #PTSD #Conference #MentalHealth #SocialWorker #Military #Veterans #FollowYourPassion
She's got style, she's got grace, a lot of shine on her face, there she is, Miss Pseudo-dementia from Treatment resistant depression. #cheerfulnihilism so TODAY is the anniversary of my dad's death, I can't believe I misremembered. #PTSD #survivor #treatmentresistantdepression #fml #grief #anniversaries
It's all about your mentality. Before you have anything in life, you have to be there mentally. Majority of the things that are holding you back is in your head. WORK ON YOUR MINDSET DAILY!
💜😊👂🏽🎶👣 🕊💜 #reclaimyourvoice
.To all my sisters and everyone treated with lack of respect - SO MUCH LOVE TO ALL OF YOU for being able to share your stories and to open your inner self up to the YONIverse. For having the strength to realize that this was not okey. That this was NOT your fault. And to all the people that are not able to speak yet for any reason, You are NOT alone. We have a voice and we will use it to speak for you. ::::Being open, vibrant, accepting and RESPECTING yourself and others-  will heal you. Then it will heal the world. Communication is the key. • • • • • • #metoo #shakti #source #life #seedoflife #vesicapiscis #yoni #universe #tribal #onelove #weareone #victims #rape #ptsd #anciety #trauma #metoo #love #healing #tantra #yoga #kundalini #quotes #poem #shoutout #lovesvoice #dace #spiral #positive #selftalk #balance
between working as a rape crisis counselor, as a community organizer, as editor of the anthology Queering Sexual Violence, as an herbalist and Breathworker working predominantly with queer & trans survivors, as writer who writes about embodiment as a survivor of multiple forms of violence, as someone who facilitates trauma-focused writing workshops and who speaks about sexual violence and healing at colleges and universities and conferences, for a solid 8 years now i've spent a majority of my life working with the impact of sexual violence. it's what i do and i love it. and yet, when conversations become so big (like with the #metoo hashtag) and when there are so many people still left out of the conversation or so many binaristic interpretations of sexual violence, i still can feel totally drained, triggered and overwhelmed. i find Breathwork, which is a two part active breath practice, to be so helpful for digging up unconscious material and offering a little ease. it's a practice that connects us to our inherent "okayness" as it helps us through embodied traumatic experience. if you're in the NYC area i still have a session or two open friday and also later this month. come breathe the muck out with me in this beautiful place! sessions are on a $50-$100 sliding scale because i want them to be more financially accessible. . link to book sessions in profile. . #breathwork #breathworknyc #healing #trauma #PTSD #cPTSD #depression #metoo #sexualviolence #queerherbalist #herbalism #plantmedicine #healingwork #healingjustice
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